If only....

Have you ever wanted to take back something and NEVER EVER have it happen?
If you took that back you would think things would be sooo much better then they are now?
But u can't no one can change the past.
the seasons change, people grow, the old pass on.

Those are things that can't be undone.

I think; some days when i see people with the stuff that i lost i think, why do they still have it what made you choose me to loose it?

but what gives me the right to be angry? What he took wasn't mine, it was his. But i only realized that now. How can i be jealous or angry? i didn't deserve him in the first place ??
He was soooo goood to me. :)
I'll always love him.
It would have been 2 months since that day on Dec. 24
You taught me sooo much, you had a bigger heart then Me !! but you taught me how to use mine.
I love you Smith. I promised I would never forget you.
when you were going to heaven laying there on that vets bed i MADE a promise that i would
AlWAYS love you and NEVER forget such an awesome guy like you.
To me, A promise is a Promise no matter how small.

I miss your Smile

Words can't discribe how I feel when I wake up and your not by my side. You looked at me with those amazing eyes and were patient. All those times when I should have walked you but you just lay in your bed waiting Hopeing I would take you for a walk. That day On sept 24 I did take you for A walk You were haveing a Ball with your Friend Maive. How could keep you tied up ?? What owner would do that ?? You Loved to run i wasent gonna stop you from doing somthing you loved. Who would? You ran across the raod and made it. I ran to save you from the danger you didn't know was there. And you were hit by a truck that didn't stop and didnt slow. I LOVED YOU AND STILL DO.

I hope and pray your not mad at me i would hate for my best friend to be mad. You died that day. You left your old earth body behind but went to your heavenly spirt in the sky no matter what anyone says I KNOW theres a heavean I MIS YOU EVERYDAY and EVERY night :"( I loved you Smith and STILL DO


FOREVER and ALWAYS.
I miss not hearing you breath beside me in bed, I miss petting you I miss LOVING you. I miss your barks, i miss your farts. I miss your soul I miss your love you always gave me no matter what. I miss having a bad day and comming to talk to the only person who wouldn't judge me. which was you. i miss dancing in the puddles with you.

I love you my boy, my happy soul, i miss you my BEST FRIEND.


I love you

"The Indefinate rides of a bouritto'' Part 2

Having to say goodbye is always the hard part, But is it really??

It's all depends whoes going and where there going.

Chould itbe we don''t want to say goodbye because were jelouse on where the other persons going ?? or is it that you don't know what to do where you are now, and your hoping that going somewere else will take away your problems, worrys, and your pain.
But what about when you have to say goodbye because someones leaving the world,
there dying??
I just want you to know.
NO ONE is forgetten. No animal,no mother,no father,no grandparnt, and no brother or sister.
And when it comes that moment that they start to leave and start to fly into there new home in the sky, you must listen.
They will wisper into your ear the most calming words that you will ever hear, they may not say it, but you will see it.
They'll say "The hard parts over"And there right,
The worlds tough, but heavens everything you can imagin

"The Indefinate rides of a bouritto'' Part 1

He starts to walk up to me , and I start to tingle.
I feel childish, Why am I acting like this or a species that sometimes act like pigs??
So i look away trying to cover my secrete obsession with the smell of his clothes or the power in his voice, I stand up straight and look away. Of course I have to act surprized when he comes, that gives the image that my body is calm and mind at ease, But really what is going on beneth that is:
Do i smell good ?
Is my hair ok ?
check the teeth because Who knows how things might turn out if you say hello and a peice of spinach is stuck betweeen your teth and somehow catipults out of your mouth and on to his shirt.

All my stress is melted away when I feel his warm arms wrap around my as if my body was wrapped into a bouritto and roasted by the sun.
Now I now what your thinking, WOW this girl is " Out there"
.......Oh i know i am so don't worry. If it gets any worse ill consult a doctor but for know I want you to come on a tour of my brain, sit in the passengers seat... OH don't ask questions, that will just confus you even more.
What you just experenced the introduction to my wild ride called.......... yeah um... CALLED!!!....... (Thinking... thinking)
"The indefinate Rides of a bouritto"
Enjoy!

My may flower

Warm and loving, with open arms. When ever I see My May Flower i feel loved and confident nothing can bring me down.
Soft to look at but you can see the love in her heart and pain in the eyes, My May Flower has been bent and broken, but is always by my side. Tornado strength couldnt blow my flower away, not even a lawn mower. Sometimes i feel like i shouldn't be aloud to have such a beautiful object in my presence. My May Flower means so much to me ....
And SHE dosent even know it ♥♥♥

I LOVE you May flower

♥ A Valentines day to rember ♥

So Buddy and I were gonna have a nice peaceful, Valentines day night out. Or so we hoped. ...
The weekend started out with a frantic session of frustration. Buddy and I didn't plan to well, (That's all i'm gonna say lol ) Valentines Day arrived and buddy was gonna come up to Aoroura around 6, we were gonna have dinner and go see Friday 13 with mt Dad and brother.
5:30- I started to get ready.
5:35- Panick attack because I have shitty clothes.
5:45- Dad reassures me that i'm a good girfriend and Buddy will understand about my clothes.
5:50- Can't find my glasses
5:55- Still can't find my glasses
6:00- On the way to Swiss Chalet.
6:05- Meet Buddy in the parking lot.

So buddy and I finialy met up but couldn't get into Swiss Chalet too packed, so we drove casually to jackasters thinking we have time (it's 6:15 we have to be at the theaters at 7:30)
We get there and it's a 45 Min wait, Shit ok now what do we do?? Go to trusty montannas, Driving a little faster now (6:30)

We get to Montannas and I tell buddy that ill run in and check, On my way there I said Hi to a lovly couple (mid 30's) and said man I hope there's no line, and they told me that theres and hour wait. (Crap) They ask me where we have been so they don't retrace my steps,i told them and asked if they know about any place and they pointed us to Shoesless Joe's.

(6:45) - Drive franticly to shoeless Joes. we get there and theres room they said the food might take a little not long tey reassured. (Yeah OK) So buddy and I ordered the drinkes and our food. I opend my gift that buddy got me (i told him not to but ...he did<3 )

(7:15) - And still no food, I was chills with it , I'm always thinking about the positive! :)

(7:20) - Still no food and bby this time I've taken everything I could away from buddy. ( He was fiddling with everything) because he was getteing fustrated. I called my dad telling him the senario we were in, he said 7:45 at the movies Latest.

(7:30) - I went up to the server and told her that We have to go somewhere at 8 sharp ....That didn'twork. Buddy is ready to take someones head off. Now for the whole hour starting at 7 I was trying to calm buddy down, man I was good :)

(7:35) - Matt walks in with his family, we share a quick hello. At this time screw trying to calm buddy down, "Buddy we have to go, no way are we gonna eat get the bill and make it there in time....we just gotta Book"

(7:40) - Buddy and I run out of Shoeless Joes. Me laughing my head off and buddy kinda.

I always love spontainous acts. that was THE BEST Valentines day EVER. the only problem is


Next year We got to Top It

Can't you see I love you?- My song I wrote a couple weeks ago, It may sound bad cause you don't know the beat but someday I'll get a beet.

I just don't get it why don't ou SEE, what I see in you?
Ohh Ohh I just dont know, sometimes how you feel. Ohh Ohh

**CHORSE**
**Cause Why can't you see, that i love you,
And Why can't you see that we'll last forever,
We're in this Togther. Whe're in this Togther
OR are we?**

Everyone fights and everyone crys
everyone loves But everyone lies
I love you to peices and you love me back
Just sometimes I feel we're under attack.

**CHORSE**

Exactly 7 days till it'll be offical
Exactly 7 days can we last that long ..Hell yeah
we got it coverd, No goin wrong, No goin wrong.

**CHORSE**

The past is the past
And your my future
Just close your eyes we'll get lost together,
just fly, fly away with me, Please?

**CHORSE**
Your going away But your comming back
I just can't stand that ever present fact
you following you road,
The road of Li-fe.

**CHORSE**

I trust you I do
I do.

**Cause why can't you see that I love you
and why can't you see that we'll last forever,
We're in this togther, We're in this togther,
Definatly.**